Thursday morning I woke up tired but what I thought to what was another normal morning where I had to report to school and continue to plug away on getting things prepared for next year. Things were normal until I turned on my computer at school and realized my mom had been trying to contact me. Her words on Skype were "no reason to freak out". That's mom's way of telling me this is something big. I knew I needed to find a phone to actually talk to her. So, when I finally got on the phone with her she said Grandpa had gone into the hospital on Tuesday and that things were looking bad. Did I want to come home and when could I be home. When I finally came up for air from my tears, I said I wanted to be home now and let me see what I could do. Before I knew it I was throwing the last few things into my classroom closet, checking out of school with only saying good-bye to maybe a handful of people, and rushing to my house. At the house I so graciously had the help of my housemates packing up my things to go to MI and the things to stay in HN all as I am on the phone with Continental getting things arranged. Mind you it's 8:40 am at this time. We haphazardly through what I thought I might want into one suitcase and after I finally got confirmation numbers for my flight and the lady on the phone telling me you have got to go to the airport NOW and my saying how can I when I'm on the phone?? we headed out the door. Before I knew it, I had said good-byes and I was headed out.
I made it to Houston and then to Grand Rapids without any problems and then driven to Muskegon all within 12 hours. It was about 1am when I arrived home and all the family had finally exhaustively gone to bed. Mom woke up to greet me but then we soon went to bed. I still hadn't fallen asleep when my mom came in about 2am and said Kristi, get up we've got to go the hospital. We just got a call. Ok. Shoes on in my pajamas, let's go. The house arose and we loaded up. We headed up to the ICU where Grandpa was. He was admitted on Tuesday with congestive heart failure, filling up with fluid, and his liver and kidneys shutting down. They called Grandma because the nurse said he was talking and doing great until 12:30 and then at that point, he stopped responding. So she called. We got there and his breathing was rough. We each took our turn with him and gave Grandma a few minutes. Then we rejoined for the next hours watching the machines spout off numbers to us telling us his status. We stood around rubbing his hand, kissing his bald head, telling him we were here and it was ok. He would come to consciousness once and a while to say grandpa's infamous "yup". He knew we were there. The doctors gave him morphine to ease any pain because at this point no more measures were going to be taken. Comfort was our goal. At about 6am we were all moved to a regular floor room and out of the ICU. We were made comfortable by the help of the hospital staff. With my siblings, mom, aunt and uncles, and Grandma there we took turns rotating in and out of chairs and at this point giving in to sleep. We were just waiting. At 8am we decided we'd go home to sleep and come back rotating in and out of accompanying Grandma. I slept as I was exhausted and woke up at 3pm to find out at 9:10am Grandpa went to heaven. His suffering was over. I cried more tears in the shower and continue to as I loved him so much. He was my only father figure left. I don't know what this Father's Day or any more in the future will look like now. He was an example for us. He loved us. We loved him. Funeral and visitation couldn't be arranged until Tuesday. For now we are trying to get Grandma to rest as she too is exhausted after a very long battle.
What I do also want to share is how much I saw God today/yesterday. In a day I went from one country to the next, slapped with culture shock, and having my life be more unorganized and out of my control than I have ever felt. Let me share with you a bit of my journal reflections in the airport.
God you know what I need right now when even I don't. You know. You are here God. You've been by my side. You were there when Jake realized the ticket and luggage flaw, there when I boarded my plane on time by cutting the whole line, you were there when so many people were concerned, contacting me and helping. You are in control, not me. You were there when I realized I do have my MI license. You were there when my US phone did work. You were especially there...tear...when you whispered to me on the plane "Siempre sera tu papi" and in the language that I needed at the time. You always will be my Father. You'll always have my back. I'll always be tu hija. Continue to walk by my side Father. Prepare us for whatever is to come. You tell me "I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. You also whispered to me "I knew that this was a big fear of yours. Hence it's in it's perfect timing. didn't understand why I had school end early, now you can see. Not only for you but for others too. " You know all God don't you?
God's presence is here with me. He was there in the hospital room too as through the faint morning light and my tears I could see most of my family together despite family rifts and all my siblings together which I wouldn't have gotten on a normal arrival. God is here.
Thank you God for allowing your plan to work out for giving me what I need. For allowing me to be here and allowing me that time and to make it home in time and be part of this family you've blessed me with.
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