The Life that I Live

If my memory serves me right, it was Good Friday 2008 when I sent in my signed contract to International School Tegucigalpa. I knew where God wanted me to be and that I wanted to follow. For my first two years of serving at the school, yeah there were difficulties, but they were normal first year teaching adjustments and adjustments with the new ways of life. However, I have never considered myself to be a missionary nor do I really like that term for myself. I don't want to feel like an outsider, I make my own money here, I don't see it as so temporary as the term missionary implies, and I want to fit in here. However, even though I still don't like the term missionary and won't use it for myself, I've started to realize in this past year that after 2 full years this 3rd year has felt more sacrificing than the others. For various reasons, my sense of security has changed this year and I finally feel that by being here I am sacrificing something for the Lord and it's hard to do. Do not get me wrong. I do not live daily in fear. I pray against that in fact. However, the longer I stay here the more and more stories I hear of things happening to loved ones. We've had 2 International School fathers be attacked (one fatality) so far in the first month of school. These types of things have always happened. In my first year of teaching, my student David's father was murdered. Why does it bother me more now? Because, point blank, it's not supposed to be this way! People should not have to get used to this sort of violence. Yes, people die. It's a part of life. But having to die due to so many car accidents, home invasions, gang activity, and murders, and lack of quick medical support is not acceptable. I refuse to accept it as a normal and it breaks my heart the way people here have become calloused to it. It's "normal" for them. I know that since I began dating Darwin, Honduras has become a scarier place. Prior, I didn't really fear anything happening to myself nor do I see that likelihood happening really, but I would never want anything to happen to me for his sake. Also, I fear something happening to him as he travels a lot everyday to the farm.

Now, I know a lot of you already don't support my being here and I'm sure I'm only giving you more reason. But I'm expressing all of this to you to ask for prayer. I was touched in a morning devotional of mine this past week as I was slapped in the face with the fact that my sense of security can only be found in God and that I should be going to Him rather than to anyone or anything else to find that security. Hence, I pray a lot more. I do still love Honduras; although, I'm struggling to get that same level of love for it back. Also, I have no idea where God is directing my path for the future but I pray I have a mold-able/ obedient heart that will follow.

In the meantime, I am going to choose to still love where I am and here's some pictures to show the crazy things that I love that are different and why I love here. Thanks for your prayers!


Trying out my green thumb!



Jess helping water.

Darwin, get off me! Typical Sunday afternoon with ulitmate frisbee at school!

Starfish!!

Vine swing! I felt like Jane.

Mud baths in Ceiba!
And no matter how many times I do it, I will still love zip lining! The owner offered me a job. Maybe that can be my future. What do you think God? ;)

Want to see more pictures? Check out:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2111222&id=15305745&l=ce4b5ffe87